I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize