I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
