Don't make out with my wife yet
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
