i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
