She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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