FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize