We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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