using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever