Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?