toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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