smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you remember whose house we're in?