Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
