Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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