found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
