i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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