I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
