Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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