THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize