hotel room ftw
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
