Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
