This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
