no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
