Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I want to make a zoo with you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
