I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
