You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
