She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
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Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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