Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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