You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we're so committed to being not committed
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
