Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
