i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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