I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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