I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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