This house was built for laser tag.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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