Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
