I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize