The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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