Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Slut skills are useful in every country.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
