pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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