Ambien. No doubt about it.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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