I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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