..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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