I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize