I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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