too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
