he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize