DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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