A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
