I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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