I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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