i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
