this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
