Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
