Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
