I just saw a hot homeless man
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have fence marks all over my body
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
