he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize