last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
