the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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