I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
