I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
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What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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